Meltdowns have become a part of my daily routine. I wake up-meltdown. I brush my hair-meltdown. I take a bite of my sandwich-you guessed it-meltdown.

What is the source of these meltdowns, you ask?

College. Through a thin veneer of tranquility, the experienced eye can tell that I am just barely hanging on to my composure. The reality is that every second I am wondering “Where am I applying?” “Will I get in?” “What kind of financial aid will I receive?” “When are the deadlines?” “What if my teachers don’t give me good recommendations?” “What if my essays aren’t good enough?” and “What if I hate where I go?”

I’m on the brink of a meltdown just thinking about it.

You can say I’m being dramatic, sure. But it’s absolutely mortifying to me that the next three months will determine where I spend the next four years, and in turn decide the outcome of my life and career.

That being said, thinking about my future and all the possibilities is very exciting. Not knowing where I’m going and who I will be with is an indescribable yet thrilling feeling. It keeps my meltdowns at bay.

To all the underclassmen, enjoy this year and work hard, because it will pay off. To all my fellow seniors, I wish you the best of luck in your application process. Unless we’re applying to the same schools. Then I wish you the worst of luck.